pinkpantheress - Nineteen
[Verse 1]
Some days when I'm down just a little bit, I drop myself to the floor
It's not a problem if it hurts because I can't feel ache anymore
I only came back home because I wanted to see what's changed
And when I realise everyone's gone, but I still feel the same
[Chorus]
I wasn't meant to be
This bored at nineteen
My friend lived next to me
Now she won't wanna see
Me look differently
Now that I'm nineteen
[Verse 2]
And I wish that I could tell all my ex-jobs in retail
That I should've stayed at work 'cause of the A-Levels I failed
My cousin just told me that my favourite shop shut down
And the other one just told me that I've always got a frown
[Bridge]
My, my mind's alone because I'm alone
My mind's alone because I'm alone
(Enough the lot, I've had enough)
My mind's alone because I'm alone (The gore, the pain)
(I've had so much, I love to hate)
My mind's alone because I'm alone (The way I shaped because I'm hurt)
(And living rough)
[Chorus]
Wasn't meant to be (The gore, the pain)
(I've had so much, I love to hate)
(The way I shaped because I'm hurt and living rough)
This bored at nineteen
My friend lived next to me
Now she won't wanna see
Me look differently
Now that I'm nineteen
“Nineteen” is PinkPantheress' ninth track from her debut mixtape to hell with it. She talks about how she’s bored and alone at the age of 19 and how her family and friends have left her all alone. “This is a song that stems from personal experience, and kind of the first time in any of my songs where I’m like, ‘I’m actually speaking the truth here, this actually happened to me.’ Nineteen was a year of confusion, emotional confusion. I didn’t want to do my uni course, I wanted to do music. I didn’t want people to laugh at me. I didn’t want to tell myself out loud and then have it not happen. Internally, I was very sure and certain that it was going to happen, just because I’m a big believer in manifestation. So 19 was that transition year. Once I’d settled down and started doing what I loved, I felt a lot more comfortable, and actually, a lot more safe.“